By Imane Fawzy Nofal

Our mothers have helped us grow into the adults we are today; they have taught us a lot, haven’t they? Yes, as mothers we are always concerned about what is best for our children. We care much about what we introduce into their lives and make sure the timing is appropriate. The first thing we think about in such situations is “is my kid ready for this?” For myself, I have always considered this an act of responsibility rather than of love. Personally, I have had an unusual experience with motherhood (you can go back to my article notes from an ungrateful mother) – it didn’t really come to me naturally. Simply put, to me, “motherhood is a journey through which women learn how to be mothers”.

In the last few months, I have chosen to home-school my twins. At first, I thought about enrolling them in nursery school … primarily, to relieve myself of the burden of trying to engage them all day in activities order than spilling my coffee, pulling my hair, slapping each other, crying, throwing tantrums, jumping over the furniture and if I flash forward, climbing up the ceiling.

During a discussion with a friend sometime ago, I learned she was homeschooling her 5 year old daughter and was thoroughly enjoying the experience. Because I admire her relationship with her daughter and thought she’s a great mother (which I don’t always see myself as), I immediately felt this was something worth doing. I accepted the challenge. Wanting to LOVE my children wholeheartedly, I am now HOMESCHOOLING my twins.

Homeschooling is basically educating your children at home by creating a child-friendly environment full of activities that’ll help them grow and develop; on a deep mental level, it is about going into a child’s mind, learning what they are interested in, introducing new things in fun and innovative ways, letting them explore, and above all accepting and embracing them as children and not being bothered by their silly childhood acts.

Fortunately for me, I was introduced to a group of ladies who care deeply about their children’s education. Our weekly gatherings are usually planned by assigning the lesson of the week to a mother who researches what is most appealing for her child and then organizes her playschool accordingly including songs, physical activities, some crafts and snack time, and we all share in the experience.

For the most part, I like that I am getting to make new friends who teach me the value of loving and caring for my children. I no longer spend time idling on Facebook, yelling at my twins because I am frustrated; I don’t leave them to cope all by themselves, on the contrary, I engage myself in their world and interact with them.

This is how my facebook status read a few weeks ago “today I came to a realization after two and a half years of being a mother, that I never knew my children and had never had any real fun with them! When I first found out I was going to be a mom, only negative emotions had come into my mind: frustration, depression and negative thoughts. Well, I won’t go into more details about that phase, but I can tell you that these days, I have realized that my children aren’t just puppets who need to be fed and have their diapers changed; their reactions and receptive abilities just amaze me. The problem is that I had never realized that children do imperfect and messy things to grow into more perfect disciplined creatures. They need much patience and contemplation on my part on how I want to mold their future. They need to scribble on papers in order to draw straight lines afterwards. I am now more for the idea of homeschooling because although children obviously can learn in any environment, it helps moms (like it did me) discover another side of themselves as well as our children.”

And yay, I DO love my kids!

Imane blogs at Express It 2 Live It

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By Imane Fawzy Nofal

Protesters speaking with army personnel, one of them on the tank in Tahrir Square. Photo by Laura Schlichting.

‘I don’t care.’ Read out the sentence ten times and write it down randomly on a white sheet of paper. That was my upset friend Amira, expressing her frustration at our physics private tutor; she repeated this phrase a dozen times, ignoring him as he lectured. I can clearly recall that I too was upset but no clear reason comes to my mind. I literally miss those days some ten years ago. Of course, I don’t miss the frustration, nor the physics lesson, but I miss my friends with whom I enjoyed so many round circles of gossip and hilarious acts of mischief.

Yes, at that age, we were more innocent, happy and we had mood swings and fought over the most trivial things, did “crazy and forbidden things” and imagined a bright future when we grew up! Nothing was foisted upon us, we merrily embraced our beliefs and perspectives; we thought “we are free”.

As the years went by and we became adults, we began to realize that freedom is a bit more complicated. It goes beyond saying ‘no’ to your mother or choosing to skip lectures; it’s a serious and sensitive issue. Freedom means something different to each one of us and fits into our lives differently. Out of our group of four closest friends, two have traveled out of Egypt, and two still live in the country. Through the years, knowing each other like we did, we haven’t been surprised by one another’s choices.

When The Egyptian revolution erupted, many things changed for my countrymen, differences became obvious and glaring, and misunderstandings ruled.

Personally, this revolution hit home because one of us was very involved. She is Kholoud Saber, she is the revolutionist amongst us. She is the one on the streets now, one of thousands and thousands of Egyptians out there fighting for their country and the most trustworthy person for me in this revolution. I can remember she’d always shown a keen interest in politics from a very early age. I recollect she used to participate in demonstrations against Israel, she organized and partook in campaigns against the central security forces’ interference in the college … and she is blacklisted by the Egyptian police.

Out of the dozens of media outlets, I only trust her word. Yet, our point of view is not totally the same.

I am no politician. I have had no real financial problems in my life. I have spent many years outside Egypt and the years I spent in Egypt have been good ones. None of my relatives have been brutally detained or tortured in the hands of the police and armed forces.

Growing up, I remember the police academy and military colleges as being the dreams of so many. These days, at 26 years old, things have turned upside down. The country seems to have become involved in politics and nothing else seems to be important; seeing wounded and murdered people everyday is now the norm as if Egypt is some occupied country; our believe and pride in the policemen and militants is gone. This seems to be the only way to see things in Egypt right now.

The police and military seem to be tyrants who have betrayed Egypt and murdered its sons. A few months ago, it was believed that the army protected Egypt’s revolution, forced the president to step down and promised to provide a timeline for the democratic transfer. Now, the believe – by protestors – is that the army deceived the people, it didn’t actually protect the revolution but has rather stolen it for its own ambitions of power!

Everything is possible when we consider how quickly our Arab dictators were toppled. Am I saying dictators? Yes, honestly, that wasn’t what I would have called them a year ago. I actually used to consider Mubarak a tragic hero whose flaws and mistakes led to his fall. Laugh at me, for I am one of those who prefers to think good of people. To all of a sudden have to question and reverse all you’ve believed in is very disturbing … and could lead anyone to the verge of a psychological chaos or breakdown.

What hurts me more than all the murdered and wounded, is the astonishment and disbelief I sense from some of my friends, especially Kholoud. Why do people mock me and others who hold the same views as I do? Is believing in the good nature of the military now considered a sin? Why are we called stupid? Is this what you call democracy? Why should we all pay attention to one side of the accounts? Should I only view videos of killed protestors, and shut off the TV when it comes to talks about spies and paid agents amongst them causing trouble?

Ok, here it is in a nutshell, I am against any more protests until white is clearly differentiated from black, until thugs are picked up and until presidential elections are held. Although my belief in SCAF (Supreme Council of the Armed Forces) is not as strong as it was before, I still think the security of the country depends on them; for it is the only body that can discipline and exercise force if necessary. I believe if SCAF left now, Egypt would become a prey and pawn to all the different political forces; thugs will have no deterrent. I am not for violence, I am not for blood, but I am for discipline. I do not condemn SCAF for murders, yet I condemn it for its failure to protect the people, for its failure in arresting thugs, for its loose hand on the ground. Until the time of elections comes and until we have clear and clean evidence – other than people’s charges and videos – I will consider it, dear Kholoud, the key to Egypt’s security … with apologies.

Imane blogs at Express It 2 Live It

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By Imane Fawzy Nofal

Photo by DMahendra

I have made it a point to not write about topics that I have no profound knowledge of, especially when it comes to religion and politics. It is for this same reason that I have not written about religion yet, and what I have written on politics solely illustrates my very personal perspectives. However, how would you really feel when you encounter such a comment as was left on a Huffington Post article entitled : ‘All-American Muslim’ is as American as Apple Dessert?

I cannot find religion a good thing, no matter how much I try. I think that it is divisive, it discourage­s independen­t thinking, and in the cases of Christiani­ty, Judaism, and Islam, it makes you hate your body and your natural instincts. People deprive themselves of sex, food, drinks, and all sorts of small pleasures because they are afraid of an imaginary dictator that they cannot see.

Well, as a matter of fact, choosing to or not to believe in God is a freedom we all have. You are free to call Him Allah, God or Elohim as in Islam, Christianity and Hebrew respectively. Or even, you’re free to not call Him at all. But what actually makes us … or me in particular believe that He exists?

I take it so simply just by answering the questions: “Who created this?” Inevitably, at some point, you will reach the conclusion that there is a Being that has created and was not created Himself.

And, before you even mention Darwin’s theory of evolution, I would just answer back that “I don’t like to think that I have once had an ape ancestor!” It is not a matter of despising apes, an apology to them is very much in line if they get this impression, because that line of thought is not different from following Hitler’s Nazis footsteps in believing that the Human race is the most honored, respected and dignified species on Earth.

So, what is the story of that Allah I believe in?

I was born a Muslim; I inherited the title before I could even understand the teachings of Islam. I have to admit that I barely do my five prayers a day and I find fasting such a difficult mission to accomplish. Yet, I DO believe in Allah. Why? It is somehow reassuring to behold a far-to-be justice and an after-death beauty. The world isn’t too perfect to believe that in its train we have our start as well as end stations. There should be somewhere else where Plato’s Utopia comes true and where every tyrant gets his due punishment. And for more assurance, there is a place where the good guys can have their ultimate rewards.

While I take my religion seriously, I sometimes contemplate the reasons behind worshiping Allah. Well, I am sorry, but isn’t it enough just to believe in His existence and be guided by Him? Why should I perform rituals? Why the ‘halal’ (Dos) and ‘haram’ (Don’ts)?

Unpleasant as it might seem, the answer is to be forever submissive and humble. I am not one of those who believe in the innate goodness of man, on the contrary, I strongly believe in the innate evil nature of man. Worshiping Allah makes us fear the punishment which though unseen, unknown and not experienced, remains great and forbidding. We worship Allah not for the sake of Allah. He doesn’t need our prayers! Worshiping is the first step towards coexistence. Otherwise, we would live in a jungle governed by all kinds of instincts and pride. Then, it’ll be all about survival for the fittest. This is not what God has meant for earth. He has created us and He is beholding and waiting to see which of us would deserve a place in His paradise and who would languish in His hell.

Well, I am certain of this seemingly blah blah blah for the fact that it gives me peace of mind and assurance of heart. To further clarify, I live on the probability that Allah exists. If He does exist, I will win the prize that those who brush Him off shall lose in the end. Think of it as when Carrefour offers lottery prizes for those who purchase a number of goodies. Those who enter the lottery have a probability of winning. Although I have never won anything, I didn’t like to miss the chance of being awarded the prize. Going into the lottery of worshiping Allah is a forever winning game after all; because I will miss nothing if Allah didn’t exist, yet my loss would be tremendous if He does.

Imane blogs at Express It 2 Live It

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By Imane Fawzy Nofal

‘1, 2, 3, 4, 5 …’ that was me counting light poles or trees along the street as I rode in the car with my dad while I was young. Actually, it was fun for that little girl trying to figure out how far the numbering would go and to which digit the whole thing would reach.

With less amusement these days, ‘1, 2, 3, 4, 5 …’ that’s me counting the floors in the building across the street while waiting for a meeting; I am feeling bored and trying to occupy my mind, this is not so enjoyable for the 25 year old I am.

Feeling silly and upset ‘1, 2, 3, 4, 5 …’ that’s me trying to calm myself down using this familiar tranquilizing technique. However, it doesn’t seem to be working because I am more pissed off and even more ready to start a fight with whomever is the subject of my frustration.

‘1, 2, 3, 4, 5 …’ is representative of numbers that are unchangeable and can’t be manipulated. For example, a ‘1 + 1 = 2’ equation can never turn into ‘1 + 1 = 3’. This tells me that facts are facts and however we try as human being to change them, we simply can’t.

But here we are trying to turn this authentic equation into ‘1 + 1 = ∞’; simply by shrugging off Alia Al Mahdy’s nude pictures as normal. If you recall, she is a young 20 year old Egyptian blogger who last week posted nude photos of herself on her blog to speak up against the suppression of Muslim women, an act which sparked outrage in Egypt and not so much in other places.

For & Against

Renowned public speaker and columnist Mona Al Tahawy (whose thoughts and writings meet much of my likeness) recently wrote, “When a woman is the sum total of her headscarf and hymen – that is, what’s on her head and what is between her legs – then nakedness and sex become weapons of political resistance. You can witness how nudity sears through layers of hypocrisy and repression by following Aliaa Mahdy, a 20-year-old Egyptian who lit the fuse of that double-H bomb when she posted a nude photograph of herself on her blog last week.”

As I write this article, it is my intention to be objective and to refrain from expressing my personal perspective based on my religious beliefs; for I am a strong believer in the importance of prudence in maintaining a well-balanced ethical society. However, I know quite well that this discourse will not be the favorite for liberals and supposedly free thinkers. However, I will speak of ambivalence and inconsistency with the self and provide both sides.

I am also in no position to issue judgment on any person in this world. It just drives me crazy when the very people who claim to be for liberty and freedom of thought justify certain acts and condemn others based on their own very personal thoughts.

Mona Al Tahawy stood up for France’s ban on niqab (the Muslim full cover) and she argued that niqab should be banned everywhere in the world. She holds a strong belief that niqab degrades women and robs them of their freedom. Is she forgetting that most, if not all who don the niqab do so by choice? It is worth noting that Mona Al Tahawy is also known to have described the cartoons of prophet Muhammed (PBUH) as “the right to offend”!

Alya Al Mahdy’s blog adds another voice to the calls against niqab mainly because of the fact that crimes have allegedly been committed by some who hid behind it; and interestingly, both ladies cheered for Alya’s nude pictures. Alya described them as her “form of free expression” and Al Tahawy summarizes it as a bomb aimed at the patriarchs in our minds!

Sorry ladies, I beg to differ! For me, if you really care as liberals to hear my voice, undressing is a form of rudeness. To coexist today, we should be able to hear each other’s voice and respect others’ beliefs. I have no right to offend you and you have no right to offend me. Simply put, your freedom stops where others’ freedom starts.

1+1=2. Wrong cannot be right!

As a ‘1, 2, 3, 4, 5 …’ rule of thumb to all liberals and activists, if your mission is to ban niqab, why not focus on just that and stop cheering for shameful acts and giving the cause fake symbols?

In fact, so many points are entangled in the issue. Since most of the cheerers do not share the Egyptian code of ethics that form our society and mentality, and also for the most part do not understand the nature of Islam, pro Alyaa advocates have said that she is very brave to have exposed her naked body to the world and claim that those who now call her a ‘whore’ are only retarded Muslims who advocate women’s suppression.

As an Egyptian lady, I want to make it clear that most of the Egyptian society, Christian or Muslim, is a conservative society that looks at the human body, male or female, as private. By private, I mean that women’s breasts and men’s penises are not for public display!

Outside of Egypt’s borders, it’s however an undeniable worldwide fact that stripping off your clothes and trading your body are the doings of whores and prostitutes, and there is a general worldwide disdain for ‘prostitutes’ as far as I know. Why did Alyaa chose the red colored high heels with snap clips that match the worldwide colors of seduction? Was she really aiming at free expression to get society to throw out restrictions on women as she claims?! If you are a liberal and free thinker, you would be actually contradicting yourself for defending Alyaa for not being a ‘whore’, because you ought to find nothing for the word ‘whore’. Or hey, do you despise it too? To be honest, I am not calling her a ‘whore’, but I am just saying that what she did is in line with that category of people; for I don’t believe respectable revolutionists would follow in such paths.

As a Muslim, I find it outrageous that people still so blatantly misunderstand and misinterpret Islam. Just to be clear, Islam does not differentiate in penalties between people based on gender; both male and female would receive the same punishment for sins committed. Why are some then claiming that Muslims don’t approve of the nude pictures because she is a female?! This is not true and does not form the nature of Islam. Alyaa has committed a sin in terms of violating the sacredness of the human body. We are covered in our mothers’ wombs until born to find clothes that cover and warm us.

I know that this article might add nothing to pro-nudity activists, so why don’t I conclude by making a universal call through it. If you believe Alyaa is such a heroine and that there is nothing wrong with nudity, I am calling for a nudity day at ∞/∞/∞. Let’s all get nude!

Imane blogs at Express It 2 Live It

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