By Lema Abeng-Nsah,

Courtesy Dunia Magazine – print issue 1 (Summer 2010)

As I have grown older, traveled to different parts of the world and interacted with various people, I have realized that some of the words of wisdom that I heard from my parents and teachers as I was growing up have turned out to be quite true; although I must admit they had sometimes seemed ‘irrelevant’, somewhat ‘senseless’ and downright ridiculous back in the day. Several years later, after countless ‘ah ha’ moments, I must now agree with the African saying: “What the old man sees sitting down, the young man will never see standing up”.

As I continue to dance to the tune of life, I am struck by the fact that in societies that are very different from the one I grew up in Cameroon, living conditions as opposite as the color black is to white, most of those words of caution have made all the difference for me and many others.

Regardless of culture, race, gender, social standing, nationality, there are basic threads that connect humanity (like a parents love for their child, a person’s need to be loved, the longing for justice, etc) and in all that equation, also exists ‘basic truths that transcend cultures’. Here are 7 of them:

1. He who reads, never grows old

Reading opens up the mind to endless possibilities and feeds the soul. Whether it’s newspapers, magazines, romance novels, thrillers, blogs, personal development books, academic material, etc the importance of reading can never be underscored enough.

There’s no answer that cannot be found in books, no experience we can’t live through reading. In remote areas where books are a rarity, parents and grandparents mold the minds of the younger generation by telling captivating tales and stories, usually by the fireside on warm nights.

According to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), “reading is the single most important skill necessary for a happy, productive and successful life. A child that is an excellent reader is a confident child, has a high level of self esteem and is able to easily make the transition from learning to read to reading to learn.”

It is almost impossible for the one who reads to feel caged-in, completely hopeless or even lost. Reading simply liberates! It is our duty to pass it on to the next generation.

2. Keep family and friends close always

The saying “blood is thicker than water” comes to mind as I make these notes. Almost automatically, we are taught to respect our parents and protect our siblings when we are children. Then we meet friends and they bring so much sunshine into our lives as we explore and discover new things with them. Although these relationships don’t always go smoothly, nothing ever replaces the love of a caring relative and the warmth of true friendship.

It is wise to protect these meaningful relationships from the caustic effects of the dreams we chase, and drama of life in general. At the end of the day, what goes around comes around; many have found themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere with no one to turn to because somewhere along the line, they burned important bridges. Guard your relationships.

3. All that glitters is not gold

When you look at somebody else’s life, do you wish it was yours? If yes, think again. The reality is, if you swapped places, you just might find out that keeping the grass that green on the other side is no piece of cake.  Let others inspire you, but strive to find yourself first, to carve out your own unique niche. Everything in life comes at a price, there are certainly no perfect situations. Yes, we all have dreams, we all aspire to be better, but keep in mind that the glamorous things we see are not always real.

In almost every society, people try to lure others into all kinds of things, promising financial security, a better life, exotic cars— while these claims may be legit, be careful; many have found themselves trapped in situations they wished they had never gotten into.

Be ambitious, yet wise at the same time. As Desiderata says, “Exercise caution in your business affairs for everywhere life is full of trickery.. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism”

4. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop

The economy is slow, jobs are few, forecasts are depressing, and my options are so very limited! Staying occupied and productive does get daunting in this climate —but remember that opportunities often have to be seized or created. Nothing happens for those who sit back and wait, except that they grow old waiting.

I remember when I was growing up, my mother was always working with her hands: sewing, knitting, and doing all kinds of crafts, some of which we sold for extra money; the sense of accomplishment as we learned to create these delicate designs instilled confidence in us.  My mother-in-law was one of those hardworking mothers who actually put her children through school by supplementing her teaching income selling ‘alaska’ (popsicles).

So why it is that our parents worked so hard, yet our generation tends to expect things to come to them? Put your talents to work. Use your hands. Success starts with small ideas that grow through persistent effort.

5. Faith moves mountains

Human beings are spiritual beings living in a physical body, I believe. Being grounded in the belief of a higher being helps us set boundaries in life, provides direction and a sense of purpose. Some call it God, others the universe … whatever it is. Personally I am a Christian and I have found that my faith in God and belief that I can achieve anything through Him has helped me conquer ‘mountains’. Faith brings meaning into otherwise meaningless situations.

6. Money can’t buy you love

… or can it? What an age-old debate! Before I continue, permit me to rephrase this into: “Money can’t buy you happiness”. Can it?

What I have learned is that money does makes life easier, money makes life more enjoyable, in many instances it has been the difference between life and death … in many ways, money is a necessity. But does it really come packaged with happiness? Why is it that some of the richest people are also amongst the most unhappy?

I would say, happiness comes from learning to appreciate life and the things we have … even as we strive for more. Which might explain why some of the happiest moments of our lives might have been when we didn’t have a lot of money, but had great friends. Seek happiness from within, not from material things.

7. Travel!

I remember looking forward to school breaks as a child. Mainly because there was a chance our parents would send us off ‘to go spend holidays’ with relatives or family friends. We were excited to visit other cities and proud to tell our friends “I spent the holidays with my uncle in Yaounde,” or wherever it was.

Whether international, or national, experiencing another’s world expands ours into 3-D; mentally and spiritually, we expand and our perspectives change and we become less judgmental, more mature and oooo, not so ignorant! It’s refreshing, eye-opening, educative, exciting and adds so much meaning to life. Travel makes you rich … on the inside.

My 7 points begin and end with activities that feed our minds: reading and traveling, the others are really just experiences in between. What goes into our minds determines the quality of our lives …whoever we are, wherever we live.

Our parents were right, weren’t they? I daresay, the values that bind humanity are really more similar than we think. Do you agree? Would you like to share a truth I left out? Please share your thoughts.

Lema blogs on Face2Face with Success

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