Nov 02, 2010 Relationships
By Irene Easterling
Unfortunately, most of us in relationships today don’t really know what it truly means to be in love. Love is doing what is in the best interest of the other person regardless of the rewards. Unconditional Love is a choice you make to stay with your partner; it has nothing to do with how you feel about them at a given time. Feelings do fluctuate, but true love always stands the test of time. Once I learned this, my marriage to my husband of 4 and 1/2 years David took a significant turn for the best.
Here are 5 things that you could do to make a positive difference in your relationship.
1. Exercise Patience, Kindness, and Fairness
Patience is vital in any relationship. It allows you to respond positively in negative situations, to be quick to listen and slow to respond. Kindness on the other hand is how we act to maximize positive circumstances in the relationship. Love is shown by the selfless choices you continuously make that keep your relationship bonded. Fairness is letting your partner win even when you might be right. Fighting fair can be very difficult, but it prevents hurtful arguments that eventually destroy the trust built over time. Simply putting yourself in your partner’s shoes helps you fight fairly.
2. Encourage Your Partner and Believe the Best for Your Relationship
While exercising patience, kindness and fairness, meditate also on the positives in your relationship. This is often most difficult to do in times of crisis in the relationship. Instead of focusing on the problems during difficult times, shift your energy instead into finding a solution for the problem.
The best thing to do is to think about the positive things about your partner, the things you love about them; rather than dwelling on their weaknesses, or filling the missing gaps with negative assumptions.
By focusing on the strengths of your partner internally, we eventually begin to voice out things that uplift and encourage them rather than break them. Making him or her see that you believe in them even in the face of problems can boost up your partner’s faith in your relationship.
3. Cherish and Protect Your Partner At All Times
Cherishing your partner means talking about the good things they do, to them or to others; supporting their dreams, and making sacrifices to make them happy. Cherishing them could also simply mean telling your partner the truth in a loving manner.
Mistreating your partner is actually mistreating yourself. On the other hand, cherishing and protecting them at all times, builds a long lasting relationship full of confidence and trust.
True love is faithful; by ignoring the problems existing in an unhealthy relationship and avoiding to tackle issues that drain the energy from your relationship, you are not protecting your partner.
Think about how you would love your partner to behave behind your back and do it. If you both do the same, then you both have each other’s back.
4. Promote Intimacy In Your Relationship
The energy you put into getting him/her in the beginning, ought to be tripled to keep them. Unfortunately, once we get into relationships, the tendency is to revert back to our comfort zones where we don’t care how we look or act.
Set time aside to spend quality time together outside of your normal daily routines. Choose to surprise your partner with different fun activities. For example, a candle lit dinner with his favorite dish, a rose bath, picnic at the park, etc.
Take care of yourself to look attractive and appealing to him/her at all times.
5. Make the Last Time You Saw Him/Her the Most Memorable Times of Their Day
Leaving a lasting impression on your partner occupies their mind through out most of the day until they see you again.
Always make sure that you two do not part with an argument or any problems hanging over you. Seek to leave your partner in a comfortable place where they know that you still care about them irrespective of the circumstances. It can be done with a simple kiss, by telling them how much you love them, murmuring the little niceties or doing that special thing you know he/she likes you to do to them.
I hope this helps.
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